(no subject)


for Villegirl17 <3 ^^

Flight 101 to Helsinki Finland now boarding
I hated hearing those words.
Thin arms pulled me close and as I breathed in the sweet air surrounding her, her soft voice whispered into my ear.
“I’ll miss you. Ring me when you land”
“I promise” I replied kissing those soft lips one last time, before her grip round me loosened, and we pulled apart. I could see the sadness in her eyes as I entered the terminal to board the flight. Who would think, huh? Me, Bam Margera, total jackass – almost in tears from having leaving his girlfriend for a month or two. Pathetic I know, I really need to man up.
I boarded the plane and started scanning the numbers on the isle
finally I found it, seat A96
I sat down, and gazed out the pulled window…Helsinki here I come…
Nine hours later and I was itching to get out of the frickin airport. I left my seat; bit out a thank you to the pretty, young airhostess nearest me and left the plane, the cold hitting me like a shovel over the head.
Once in the airport I quickly grabbed my luggage and headed straight to the departures lounge to find Jussi and get the hell outta there and back to his flat for some proper food and to chill.
He’s nowhere to be seen… Great
I kept scanning the heads of the crowd surrounding me, looking for the trademark black spiky hair I recognized as his, while people all around me babbled to each other in Finnish. Amidst the chaos, I heard a deep voice uncertainty calling my name
“Bam Margera?”
I turned and froze, captivated by the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.
I was shook out of my trance, by this stranger’s deep baritone voice.
“Uh, hey. Yes?” I replied blushing slightly
the man smiled, flicking his long curls sub consciously out of his face,
“Hei, My name’s Ville, I’m uh Jussi’s mate. He told me ta pick you up cause the lazy fucks overslept”
“Ah cool dude, uh Ville” I replied… well that solved this missing Jussi problem.
He smiled at me again and I felt myself smile back despite my irritated mood.
And as soon as we reached the waiting car, drove by one of his mates an Cradle of Filth started blaring out, I could tell that we were goin to get on well.
“Yo Bam, you want a beer?” Ville called from the kitchen
“Uh yeah sure dude, thanks”
My head turned as he entered the shabby looking living room handing me a cold bottle.
“Sorry bout the mess kulta” He stated pushing a pile of clothes of the couch to clear room to sit “Since moving back in I haven’t had the time to clear away my stuff.”
“It’s cool.” I picked up on a slightly unhappy tone in his voice, and frowning questioned, “Moving back in..?”
“Oh... yes, well I moved in with a girlfriend for a while,” He paused, “and well, things didn’t go according to plan.”
“Oh, I’m sorry man.”
“I’m not…” A grin appeared. “She was a bitch.”
“I just miss the company, ya know?”
A stab of guilt pierced my mind,
*Ah shit! I forgot to ring Missy!*
“Uh I just have to make a phone call, yeah?”
“Sure” he smiled, I’m just gunna grab another drink, you want one?”
I looked down at his empty bottle in surprise, I knew the Finnish could drink, but that was impressive!
“I’m Ok thanks.”
I watched him walk into the kitchen again, his swaying hips captivating me in a way I knew they shouldn’t.
I tore my eyes away and pulled out my phone.

“Hey missy?”
“Bam! Oh I was so worried when you didn’t call!”
“Sorry hun” I sighed “I totally forgot”
“Its fine, as long as you’re ok”
I smiled
“Is Jussi ok?” She asked
“Oh, uh...” I paused as Ville walked back into the room, and despite my reply, he was holding two opened bottles in his hands.
“He’s fine baby..Are you ok?”
“Good and I’m fine, missing you already though” I could hear her smile into the phone.
“Missing you to baby,” I replied suddenly feeling Ville’s gaze upon me.
I blushed.
“Talk to you later?”
“Of course” She replied.
“Bye love”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”

As I hung up I looked back at Ville. Our eyes met and he looked away.
“Girlfriend?” He asked. Bitterness present in his voice.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Must be nice...”
“Uh..Yeah, she is...” My voice faded out.
The silence burned.
“Anyway,” He started, a smile now on his face, “As it figures, Jussi’s somehow unable to leave Jyriki’s today,” His grin widened “I didn’t ask why…but I think we can guess”
My lips formed a smile.
“So, I decided that we are going to get good and drunk… then go out and party” he stated, then looking up at me, his green eyes boring into my own,
“You cool with that Bam?”
“Dude… of fuckin course!”

A few hours later and a hell of alota drink and we were a sight to behold, stumbling round clubs, falling over each other and hugging anyone who looked remotely like someone we knew, or used to know, or could possibly know…
Finally, the 4th bar of the night had the sense to call us a taxi, taking us directly back to Ville’s apartment, and a higher level of sanity or at least I thought…

Getting there was the first challenge…
“VILLE, NO, NO, NOOOOO!” I shouted, falling to my knees for some unknown and most likely pointless reason…
“What BAM!?” He shouted back, peering over me.
“We can’t take the elevator…”
“Why the HELL not!?”
“If it dies, no one will know who I am... I’m not a Finnish person like you… THEY WONT CARE!”
He looked down at me for a second, stifling obvious giggles,
“Bambam…you’re off your face!” He exclaimed, helping me up and nearly falling over himself, “Of course they won’t care!”
“Shuddup Willa… I think I need another drink..”
“I think that’s a great thing to think” He giggled, before raising an arm and belting “TO THE STAIRS!”
And as you can imagine, those stairs took a very long time to conquer...
Finally, we reached the door to his apartment, and, as expected, fell into his living room in a burst of drunken energy, laughing at nothing in particular and trying to sniff out the remaining alcohol. Our mission, needless to say was a success, yet as we fell quiet, bottles in hand, our awareness of each other became far more noticeable.
He turned to me slightly, and looked deep into my eyes,
I gulped, as I felt his hand on my leg… I lent forwards, in my drunken haze, eyes wondering down to his lips, a hand to his thigh…
What the hell? You hardly know the guy, plus think of Missy!
But these thoughts all but disappeared as he leant towards me, our faces so very close
“What..? I replied quietly, my voice notably slurring, and as if that one word had brought reality with it, he looked again at me with those dazzling green eyes and sighed, pulling back,
“Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled.
And for some strange reason an air of disappointment settled over me, I stood up, stumbling somewhat.
“Uh, don’t mention it Willa..”
“We should call it a night…?” He questioned
I looked over at him, he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Sure. Goodnight"
With that I left him and staggered to the spare room. I wasn’t sure why I felt disenchanted all of a sudden, yet as I filled my thoughts of missy, minutes later I was asleep and he was there in my dreams, green eyes piercing my conscious.

Meanwhile, Ville was still sitting there in the messy living room, his eyes filling with tears unbeknownst to me, sipping yet another beer…
Morning came all too soon, bringing with a nightmare headache, which felt like two lil gnomes drilling into my brain…fun.
I woke with a groan, and an urge to be sick, not helped AT ALL by the smell of breakfast billowing through the doorway...
Yes What the hell!? Were my thoughts exactly.
I stood up, the room spinning slightly and left the room and headed towards the kitchen…

“Breakfast?” Ville questioned, and based on the look I gave him he came to his own conclusion. “I’ll take that as no.”
“Good guess.” I groaned, “Got any meds?”
“Uh yeah, bedside table.” He replied, his eyes not leaving the, what can only be described as ‘concoction’ in the frying pan.
“Uh, ok.”
I journeyed back into the living room and towards the only room in the drab apartment that I hadn’t yet been into.
The walls were cream coloured and dirty. Just like the rest of the rooms, junk was scattered everywhere, clothes more than anything along with random books and bits of guitars. I ventured closer to the bedside cabinet and managed to actually get the pills, put the packet back down and turn back toward the door before my curiosity took hold. And well, I can’t really tell you why, but I suddenly had the urge to explore his room further. To look through his wardrobe and run my fingers down the seems of his undoubtedly gorgeous, gothic clothes. To look through the old worn books lying about the floor and read the weird alien poetry found in their pages.
I realised then, that he intrigued me. This beautiful, gothic stranger with his piercing green eyes. That thought worried me, scared me even. Yet it wasn't enough to deter my curiosity. I walked silently over to his cabinet again, and casually opened the drawer. I'm not sure what I expected, perhaps more books adding to the vast amount already scattering the floor or maybe even a diary- he seemed like the type. But for some reason, I didn't expect this.
Porn. Gay porn.
A hot flush crept over my face as I quickly shut the drawer. My desire to explode didn't disappear all together but it certainly became clouded by embarrassment...
I thought he mentioned a girlfriend..maybe that's why they split up..
"bam?" I heard him calling from the living room,
"uh yeah..?" I replied quickly, leaving his room, a slight flush still on my face. He was sitting on the couch, unbelievably a bear in hand; apparently last night had not taken its toll in him... Finnish people, huh? Lucky buggers, can drink alcohol like water (at least in most cases, Ville seemed to not only drink alcohol like it was water, but also seemingly INSTEAD of water)
He smiled at me, beamed intact. Before offering me a sip. When I declined he chuckled
"hey shuddup man."

After a moment of comfortable silence the phone rang.

“Hei?” Ville answered in Finnish
”Hei, I'l pian ohi, ok?” The muffled voice replied
”Varmista, nähdään jätkä” Ville then hung up.

I looked at him questioningly, trying not to to appear nosy
”Was Jussi, He’l be over soon.”
”Ahh, cool cool dude.”
And, spot on time, 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door.
”Get that will ya Bambam? ” Ville called from the bathroom, where the shower was clearly running.
I complied and went to answer the door.
”BAM!” the dark haired drummer shouted as he pulled me into a welcoming hug. ”How the fuck are you?!”
I laughed slightly at his enthusiasm.
”Im ok thanks dude, how the fuck are you?”
”Good, thankyou”
I invited him into the cramped living room. He looked round at the rather impressive mess,
”Bad time to say your gunna be have to stay there for a bit longer judging by the mess?” He joked mildly, his accent making his words harder to understand.
”Staying longer?” Ville’s voice called from the bathroom, wherer the running water had now stopped.
”Uh yeah kulta, if you dont mind that is..?”
”No, I dont mind at all.” He replied emerging for the shower, a towel wrapped round his waist showing off his ghostly pale chest. His wet hair falling over his face made him look no less than beautiful.
I felt my face turning pink at this point and looked away, yet I felt his eyes on me minutes after.
”Can I ask why Bam is now staying here rather than yours..?” Ville questioned, a cheeky grin on his face, ”Is Jyriki prehaps staying..?”
In any other situation, this question would appear quite innocent, but the tone of Ville’s voice changed that. Jussi turned slightly pink but grined none the less.
”Yeah...” He tailed off.. His eyes lingering on Ville, who suddenly didn’t meet his gaze.
”Drink?” He offered.
”Sure dude, not alcohol though.”
Ville rolled his eyes.
”Your meant to be cutting down too...” He added, looking midly concerned,
”whateverrrrr.” Ville replied from the kitchen, emerging with a glass of water for Jussi and two cans of cola, he opened one for himself and offered the other to me. As i took it he could clearly see the questions forming in my mind, but the warning look he gave me told me to keep my mouth shut.
Half and hour later, after boring Ville half to death with talk over the new video I was directing for the Eyes, Jussi left, agreeing to meet us later for a meal. Or drink. Or whatever. After he did, Ville – now dressed - turned to me,
”Uh Bambam... please don’t mention to the others about me drinking later, please..?” A slight pleading tone in his voice.
”Um.. ok dude” I paused. ”I know this is none of my business, and I normally wouldnt ask, but..”
”They just don’t like me drinking Bam,” He replied in a tone that suggested the conversation was at a close.
”They worry about me too much.. thats all...” His voice faded.
Silence. Then he smiled at me again. I was becoming far to used to getting taken aback by his strangly feminine beauty.
”Wanna watch a movie?”
”Yeah sure dude.”
He got up from the couch and went to his room, coming back with a dvd clutched in his hand.
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
”Ohhh, I could have guessed... goth boy.” I teased
He simple poked his lil pink tongue out at me before turing to the tv and starting the movie.
About an hour and a half later, neither of us wanted to move. Over the period of the movie Ville had become snuggled up to me somehow, and I despite trying to reason with myself, I didn’t seem to want to let him go.
”Well... that was better than I expected.” I admitted as the credits began to role. ”For a kids film.”
”...baby bat...” He mumbled into my chest turning away from the tv slightly pulling me closer.
”Shuddup” I retaliated, poking him in the ribs.
He squealed, wriggled and then simply started mumbling halfhearted threats.
”Ok, I’l stop Willa, you scare me!” I announced as started threatening to shave my head while I slept.
”GOOD!” he giggled. His arms relaxing round me, as i found myself pulling him to my chest.
We stayed still for a while, breathing deeply, and though I was tired previous to watching the movie, I now felt wide awake.
He moved slightly against me, tilting his head to look into my eyes. With those gorgous green eyes staring into what felt like my soul, I was helpless.
He lent foward, and suddenly I felt his lips brushing gently against mine.
Just then, My phone rang, breaking the silence.
I pulled away suddenly, as If I had just come to my senses. Pulling my phone out from my pants pocket. Then name flashing on the screen caused me to pull thuther away from him.

”Its Missy...” I told him
He got up from the couch without a word, and left into the kitchen.
Unfortunatly, I felt guilty as he walked away from me.
Not towards Missy... but towards him...and I knew that that wasn’t a good thing...

”Uh, hey...”
”You ok hun?” she asked, sounding concerned.
”Yeah I’m fine.. you?”....

10 minutes later and I hung up. My head was starting to hurt again.
I turned to see Ville standing behind me, I was supprised that I hadn’t felt him staring at me... I had no idea how long he’d been there. When I was lying to her about staying at Jussi’s? Or about how I went bed early yesterday, and therefore didn’t ring her back..? Pointless lies I know... but for some ridiculose reason I had told her them.
But whether he had heard these things, he didn’t mention them. Nor did he mention the near kiss. He simply smiled again, and took a swig of the beer in his had (I was now noticing this as a permanent feature)
“You ready to go out?” He asked
I Looked up at the clock, half 4.
“Woah, that movie was longer than I thought, goth boy.”
He raised an eyebrow,
“OR maybe you just got up really dam late kulta, huh?”
“Shuddup” I replied getting up, “I’ll be ready in 10, ok?”
He nodded and I left to the spare room to go get ready.

"bammie boy!" Jyriki's loud voice greeted my ears.
"Heya dude!"
We walked over to th crowded table in the corner of the bar surrounded by a number of people, few of which I knew.
Ville hugged the guy nearest to us, with impressive blonde dreads, mumbling in Finnish. He then turned to introduce Me.
"you bambam this is lindie, my best friend and an guitarist."
"Heya dude I'm bam" I then turned to ville, "your in a band?" I questioned
"oh yeah, HIM"
"you guys any good?"
"we're better than these fuckers!" LInde shouted, a playful grin engulfing his lips. This comment recived an uproar from jussi and Jyriki.
"battle of the bands, huh darling?" ville whispered to Me, I shuddered as his lips brushed against the shell of my ear "drink?" he questioned, still close enough to make me tremble. I turned to him, and found myself inches away from his face. Out of the corner of my eye I could see jussi watching us intently despite the noise surrounding him. Ville seemed to notice this and pulled away, turning.
"are you drinking" I questioned
He looked at Me smiling slightly, "yes. I think they can handle Me having one pint" referring to the guys still squabbling like children behind me.
"in that case, uh yeah Il have a pint"
"cool." his eyes lingered on mine before he turned, piercing through me.
I watched him walk away to the bar, swaying his hips, before sitting at the already overcrowded table.
My eyes caught Jussi's briefly and an awkward smile crept over his face before he looked over at Ville. I knew what he was thinking..


Funeral Of Hearts Ch12b

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 12b
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: sorry its been so long ^^ my creativity somewhat died for a while =L x

Ville's POV

As our eyes met I felt sick. He wasn't meant to be here... he wasn't meant to know.
It just complicated things. though I was determind not to let him ruin this day. The best day of my life... We danced, we kissed, we smiled for the cameras.
Yet when it came to the evening something was wrong.
The heat wasen't there, but that - for me atleast - was nothing new. But no, I felt something inside of me... I prayed to God that it wasen't regret.
I knew I didn't deserve Jonne... and I knew Bam didn't deserve a second thought...but still...
Turns out Jonne saw Bam... and he had pissed off somewhere... great. My wedding and I'm alone heading to my honeymoon sweet... alone.

As I turned left out of the elevator my heart leapt. The door to our room was open, Jonne was back...I braced myself for the fight that would inevitably follow... yet when I entered the room, no shouting greated my ears.

I walked into the master bedroom and there on the bed lay a note, torn at the edges...

Bans POV

I remembered the moment as if It were yesterday... though i can barely remember the pain... Just the eerie sense of peace.
I glanced down at the black scrawl and I felt nothing but emptiness...

To my darling Ville...
                                       Not a day goes by without my heart breaking slightly more. I miss you so much and it hurts so bad. I can't live without your Ville...
...please...dont be angry with me... If you wake and I'm not there it's only because I was too weak to live without you... you always seemed to think that i was the strong one... but I'm not.... I'm nothing without you...
Forgive me for what I am about to do my darling, but maybe, this way, I might be reuninted with you sooner...
                                     All my love, eternally yours, forever and ever baby,
                                                                       Bam x

I took one last glace at the note... This is what I had to do...He was meant to recieve this years ago, and now, it just somewhat felt right...

Ville's POV

As I read and re-read the note infront of me My heart stopped beating. Fear and panic, regret and worry flooded my mind. I may not love Bam anymore, but I know that I still care fro him deep down, and that feeling is never going to disappear.
I can't let him do this...

I folded the note and place it in my pocket, the worn paper feeling so fraglie, reminding me that this was the note I could have been reading a few years previous...I never did ask him about those scars...

As I raced out of the hotel, I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I turned to see Jonne, eyes puffy from crying standing a few feet away from me.
"Ville... we need to talk..."
"Jonne... I'm sorry darling... but I need to go... it's urgent... I promise we can talk as soon as I get back..." I answered timidly.
He looked confused for a second and then realisation dawned on his face, then his face simply fell.
"Its him isn't it...?"
"Don't...Ville. Please...just tell me... I deserve that much."
Tears started to fall from his already red eyes. My heart ached for him...Yet I knew I still had to leave...
"Its not what you think..." I said backing away slowly
He turned away, sobbing louder now. I looked at him, helpless,
"Baby...I'l be back..."
With that I turned, guilt pressing heavily down on my shoulders.
I had to find Bam... and I knew where he would be....    

Funeral of hearts 12a

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 12a
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

To cry is to know that you're alive but my river of tears has run dry"

I hadn't the faintest idea what teh occasion was, yet his brother had been adiment that he would be present.
I ran into the hotel, pushing past smartly dressed couples, looking shabby in comparison..
Following the sound of commotion til I reached a set of wooden double doors. I took a deep breathe, months of hard work, amount to this moment.
I push them open and enter the room. 
Music softly dances its way into my mind, carresing my thoughts as hundereds of tiny white fairy lights dazzel my eyes.
A wedding.
I enter the hall, trying to remain unnoticed as I start to scan the tables looking for Ville. Minutes pass and no such luck.
I start to doubt Jesse's directions.
Then, silence decends.
'The Happy couple."
applause arrupts as the doors facing me are opened.
There he Is, a smile plastered on his face, on the arm of a pretty yound blonde...My Ville, now someone else's.
I was too late, It was over. Way over.
I turned, tears begining to fall and headed towards the exit. Hand resting on the rustic doorhandle, i glance backwards.
Our eyes meet for a second and shock explodes on his features.
And then I'm gone.
Though blinded by tears now, my mind was clear.
I found my way to the reception desk and the concerned woman soon adressed me.
"Hello sir, erm, can I help you?"
"Ye-yes you can..."

20minutes later and I Left the hotel to head to the nearest bed and breakfast, rucksack still in hand...

***Skank POV

As I watched from the Taxi window I saw him enter the hotel in suspense and leave in obvious despair. I knew It was only a matter of time before he returned once more...

***Bam POV

The celling was stained yellow and teh bed was damp but I couldn't have cared less.
I lay there me eyes puffy and face stiff from the now dry tears.
I open my bag and pull from It my jornal. I run my hands along the spine, trying to remember the last time I did so. It all seems so long ago. The, without hesitation I open it and let the memories flood my head...

I was scared by how far away his voice sounded.
"Call... call an ambulence" I murmered as a strange feeling swept over me. All of a sudden I felt tired.
"Call a what?"
"Ambulence." I attempted to shout with all the effort left in me.
"What? why?" He sounded confused. 
I could hear him talking to someone. Ape.
"Bam, hunnie, unlock the door" 
"I... I can't" I replied as my droopy eyes fell shut.

No more tears fell from my eyes as i roughly ripped an entry from the jornal in my lap and folded it up into my pocket.

Enough is enough.
This ends,

Funeral of hearts ch 11b

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 11b
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

Confused beyond belief I allow the anrgy blond to push past me and enter my dommain.
He looks round in shock, before his eyes come to rest on mine, Anger still glittering in his gaze...


"You look like shit"
"Oh thanks man.  I did just get smacked in the face mind you."
"Care to explain that?"
"You know what?" Anger rocketed in his voice, he didn't wait for a reply, "I've just left Ville at home, crying on the fuckin floor, pissed outa his head saying he wants to die."
My heart hurt at the sound of his name
"What does that have to do with me?"
"You didn't even think about going to the funeral did you? After all that woman did for you. Even after Ville came back here to try and help you, you didn't even have the decency to comfort him when he needed it most."
I saw red
"You don't know ANYTHING...he came back. Fucked with me and left. You expect me to comfort him now?"
"What the hell are you on about? Your the one who lied to him."
I could hear Skank moving behind me.
"No... hes the one lying to you."
"No Bam. Iv'e see the note, "Make him hurt. Love S" thats right yeah?"
Just then, I felt like the bottom of my stomache had fallen out.
I turned round, my gaze fueled by my growing paranoia falling on a nervous looking Skank.
"Bam, He-he's lying. Come on hunnie, this had no-nothing to do with m-"
"Get away from me." I growled under my breath.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I picked up the nearest object to hand and threw it at him, The lamp shattered on impact.
He ran out of the room, and as i followed, continued out of the front door.

When I returned Linde was perched on the edge of my chair, looking uncomfortable.
"You....you didn't.."
"No... I didn't.." 
He stood up, eyes resting on mine for a second before they came to rest on the floor - from experiance, I knew that this was not a good sign.
"It changes nothing..." He sighed. "You should have been there for him Bam...I can't forgive you for that..."
"I thought...-"
"It doesn't matter what you thought. You owed it to him, and his mother. I can't forgive you..."
"And neither will he."
Tears welled up in my eyes.
"He deserves better than you Bam..." It was then I noticed the tears swimming in the depths of his eyes. The shock was obviously visible in my face. As he cleared his throat, and stood up to leave.
"I should go, I'l see you around Bam...Well" He paused, "Maybe not..."
I wondered wether its actually possible to be close to Ville...without falling for him...

As he walked away from the house I struggled to cope with what had happened. Despite what Linde said, hope flickered inside of me...I knew what I had to do...

"Welcome everyone to our first meeting. I hope you've all settled into your room's ok. My name is Cherrie and I'm your group therapist. Why don't we start by going round the circle, tell everyone your name and why your here."
I took a deep breath.
"Hey...My name's Bam, I'm a Heroin addict and I'm here to get clean... "

3 months later

"We are gathered here today..."
I gazed into his beautiful green eyes, telling myself that this is the best day of my life.
He opened his mouth and began to speak.
"I, Ville Valo, take you Jonne Aaron..."
I took a deep breath.
"I do..."

Unknow to them both hundreds of miles away, a familliar face was boarding a plane,
destination - Finland Helsinki

and yet, unknow to all three of them...He was being followed...


Funeral of hearts ch11a

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 11a
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x
*sorry its so short ^^ gotta go to skl =(

"We are gathered here today..."
It had been a month since I found him crying on the kitchen floor.
A month since my heart broke.
And a month sicne I decidedly ignored it.
"A dear wife, mother and friend..."
I could'nt put him through anymore pain, even if It was at my own expense
Because that's what love is - Crazy
Or atleast I think this is love...
"Ashes to ashes..."
I hug him closer as his shoulders begin to shake more violently.
All the alcohol wasen't helping either. I hope he's sober for our wedding. We had to postpone it, due to circumstances.
Due to different circumstances, Im not sure wether I want it to happen at all now...

A few days later on the other side of the atlantic...

"Get the fuckin' door!"
"Oh fuck off! yu get it!" I relpy, my voice raspy and dry.
Im so strung out.
"I can't get it. Im naked." The voice states from behind me.
I scramble up off the couch, in a sudden rush only to be fixed with a glare from his majesty queen of drag - fully clothed.
"Now your, uh, up" A smirk crossed his face, "Get the door. It may be Jason with the gear."
I find mysefl practically running towards the knocking as a consiquence of this possibility, pathetic really.
I pull open the door and before I have a chance to acknowlage the person behind it, a fist connects with my jaw.
"OW!" I stumble dramatically backwards clutching my face, and somwhat try to regain my posture.
I turn round , furious and ready to beat the shit outa my guest.
Though I raise my fist, only to let it fall aimlessly by my side as suprise takes hold . For standing infront of me is a man I know to be the most gentle guy in the world. And he had just smacked me in the fuckin face.

"Lindie!? WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"No Bam. what. the. fuck!?"
Confused beyond belief I allow the anrgy blond to push past me and enter my dommain.
He looks round in shock, before his eyes come to rest on mine, Anger still glittering in his gaze...


funeral of hearts ch10b

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 10b
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

"Show me life worth living for"

*Ring ring**Ring ring*
"Hey, this is Jonne right?"
"Yes... is this Bam?"
"No. It's Skank, Bam's boyfriend"
"Oh" he sounded mildly suprised.
"I read your email, and I think I know what questions you need answering."
"go on,"
"You want to know if anything happened between them."
 "Yes. It did."
He held his breath at the other end of the line.
"They fucked."
"what-what reason do I have to believe you?" I could tell from his voice that It had worked. He has crying already.
"What reason do you have not to?"
"If you trusted him, we wouldnt be having this conversation right now."
"...he wouldnt..."
"Belive me hunnie, they did"
"..." I could hear him sobbing.

With that I hung up.
I grinned, happy with my accomplishment.
Wow they really did have trust issuses in their relationship. Lucky for me, Bam wasent that observant. He was just guliable.

Jonne pov

Wth tears puring down my cheeks, I stormed down the street towards the house we shared. My heart hurt.

And as i pushed open the front door, ready to confront him, I stopped.
A faint sobbing was coming from the kitchen.
"V-ville?" I stuttered, my voice shaking with anger.
I pushed open the door to find him Sitting on the floor in a crumpled heap.

"She-she's dead... momma..."

"Oh my..."
Forgetting the situation completley, I crouched down and wrapped my arms round him tightly, as he sobbed hysterically into my hair.
This could wait, my anger faded.
He needed me now, and I realised then, I simply couldn't deny him.

Funeral of hearts ch10a

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 10
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

"Today, tomorrow seems so far away, and way too late"

"Oh God!" I groaned heatedly into my lovers mouth as I arched up to his touch.
"Shhh baby," He replied, whispering into my hair, his hand venturing lower to carres my member gently as he began to nip harder at the skin of my neck.
"Don't tease me." I pleaded
He simply giggled and pulled away from me completley, leaving my body automatically missing his heat.
"Darling..." I whined as he sat infront of me, slowly pushing down his silk boxers to expose more of his gorgous skin.
Once he had removed the garment, he pushed me back hard against the headboard and roughly pulled my all to willing legs apart.
He started painfully slowy, almost as if to punish me for my earlier impatience, but all control was soon lost as our bodies began to rock back and forth in an unsteady rhythm as our moans bounced off the walls of the room.
As we reached climax our eyes locked together, a flash of blue, a split second before I tore my gaze from hisand gasped his name loudly as I rode out my orgam.
"Oh Bam!"
A passionfilled scream met my own and then we just lay there, our panting the only sound to be heard.
10 or so minutes passed, and then the silence was killed.
"What did you call me?"
I opened my eyes to find my lover staring intently back at me, a look of shock on his face.
"I-I..." I trailed off, lost for words.
With that he got up, and swiftly padded away in the direction of the bathroom.
"Jonne wait... I can explain...I didn't mean-"
"Whatever Ville." Was his only reply before he slammed the door, locking it behind him.
A sigh left my lips as I closed my eyes.
I let sleep wash over me. I was far too tired to deal with this right now.


"He said what?!"
"You heard me..."
"Woah... I bet that was akward"
"Yes well... look Jussi, please don't tell anyone, ok?"
"Of cousre not...but...do you think..."
"Do I think what?"
"That, that something happened when we went away, between them, I mean? You said yourself he acted all wierd about it...'
"I really don't know...It's like I hardly know him anymore..."
"If I was you, I'd talk to Bam an-"
"What?! Why?!"
"Listen, talk to Bam and find out what happened...You never know, it may have been nothing."
"Like that wouldn't be akward.." 
"But it would be better than not knowing..."
"I guess..."
"Yeh...I have to go kulta, ring me soon ok? and try not to get yourself too upset about things,"
"yeah sure, and ok, I'l try..."
"Love you"
"Love you too"

I hung up th phone, paused for thought and slowly unlocked the bathroom door.
To my relief Ville was asleep. Silently I crept downstairs and turned on the computer.


After smokin a join to take the endge off the rock, I left Bam semi-concious on the couch and wondered into the kitchen looking for anything valuble that he wouldn't miss.
As I looked about the room, I noticed how little food we had in the house, It would have seemed wierd to others, not htat anybody ever came round anymore. Not even his own bitch of a mother, though I wasen't complaining.

As I ventured into the study i noticed his laptop flashing on the desk. He hardly ever used it anymore, and i doubted wether he would even register its dissapearance.
I pulled out the charger and flipped open the screen. A crack ran from one corner to the next, but I couldn't remember how it had got there. 
As i pondered this, an email suddenly popped up on screen and, naturally, through curiosity, I opened it.

To: SkaterBam@Hotmail.co.uk
From: Santas_baby@yahoo.net
Subject: Hello

It's Jonne, Ville's fiance.
I know we have never been intoduced, but I have been told alot about you. We need to talk. 
I have a few questions I need answers to. If you'd prefer a more personal form of contact my moblie number is- 07878395691
Jonne A

 My eyes widened as I read the email. He was engaged.
I pondered the situation for a moment, the thought of him inturrupting me and my Bammie was too much. He had to be kept out of our lives. For Bam's sake.

With this thought in mind, I pulled out my mobile, saved the number, deleted the email and turned off the laptop. After all the dope wouldn't pay for itself, and being pretty sure I could get a few bucks for it, I left the house, a plan forming in my mind.  


Funeral of hearts ch 9

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 9
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

Oh btw *Looking for beta* :D any one willing??? much <3

"These are the thing you make me do"

"Hunnie I know your uncertain about all this, but trust me, Im only trying to help him out."
"Ville, I'm not so sure... I mean there's alot of history"
"But thats all it is - history"
"Does he know that?"
I pause.
"...I hope so... for his sake"
"So, when will you be back?"
"I'm not sure... a week or so maybe?"
"That long?! You've already been ther for 4 days! And we do have a wedding to plan ya know..."
"Yes I know sweetheart, how could i forget?!"
"Then come home..."
Call waiting caller Id - Bam
"Baby I've got to go, My phone's dying. Il speak later yeh?"
"(Sigh) Ok then..."
"Love you"
"yeh...Love you too"

 End of call


"Hey ville its bam, Iv'e done it... Its all gone, everything... and Skank, he's leaving...I asked him to go... Come visit me soon? I feel so ill...Plus i really want to talk to you about things...
Ok call me later or drop by yeh?...Bye."
"Love you"

Oh Lord... Maybe he has got the wrong idea...

Bam's diary
I feel like death. God I miss it already, and skank broke my new fuckin deck...the little bitch.
But Ville... That kiss... surely it means something... It has to, why else would he still be here?
I hope this is the start of something long forgotten. It has to be... he's the only reason I still belive in love... Even now.

Ville's POV

As I'm walking up the driveway, my phone starts ringing again, Its Jonne.

"Hello baby?"
"Hi, I thought your phone died?"
"Oh, Yeh... I changed the battery"
"Oh ok liste-"
"Darling, now's not a good time, ok? Can we talk later?"
"Oh. Fine"
"Jonne, wait..."
End of call.


Just then, a movement out of the corner of my eye distracts me. Its that kid again, what did bam call him...?
"Oh hi, again," He adresses me, "I'm skank"
"Oh, Hi,"
"Erm, Bam's in a mood, can you give this to him for me?" He somewhat hesitantly passes me a ailver and black jacket. "He's been lookin for it all day"
"Oh ok."
He retreated away from me, and headed off down the drive as I entered the house.
It was very quiet.
"Bam?" I called into the silence. No reply.
I looked around, and then down to the jacket in my arms.
It was very beautiful, but quite small.. Maybe Bam had lost alot more weight than I had first thought...
As i held it out infront of me, something fell to the floor.

A needle. It had fallen out of the pocket.

I reached inside the left pocket, There was a note,

 "Hey Bam, I got the shit for later, Just give me a ring when you've sorted the finnish bitch out yeh? Make him hurt."
Love, S x

He was lying to me... Messing me around, Making me lie to Jonne... I saw red. I was trying to help him, and this is how he repayed me? Him and his little bitch getting revenge? Fuck that.

And with this thought, I dropped the jacket where I stood and left.
Pulling out my phone as i ran, i rang Jonne...

Voicemail, darn

"Baby, I miss you... I'm coming home now..."

And with that I hung up.


As Ville left bam lying sick in bed without a clue of his depature, Skank crept into the house, retreving his jacket from the hard oak floor, a smile snaking across his face.

*** Hours later.

"I'm so sorry baby, but the airport said he left earlier today..."
Bam sniffed, as he cheked his voice mail once again,
"Yeh hunnie?"
"I'm so sorry about tellin you to leave... please stay"
"Its ok baby, and of course I will" I replied, barely disguising my smile, "Anything else Bammie?"
"...Make it all go away..."
I pulled him round and kissed him hard on the lips, loving his taste - more addicting than any drug.
"I'l go get the rock" I stated, breaking the kiss.
He simply stared into space, tears falling down his cheek, heart broken in his chest.

He was mine now, and Ville would never get him back...


Funeral of hearts Ch8b

Title: The funeral of hearts - ch 8 part 2
Author: dark_light_girl
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Just as Bam finds happiness, his life and love are torn apart
Disclaimer: I dont own ville or bam, but wish i did XD twuld be fun
Warnings: tis a tiny bit sad = [
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fic, so comments critial or otherwise appreciated, taah x

Oh btw *Looking for beta* :D any one willing??? much <3

"I just want you to know, I'll always be waiting."

Ville's POV

The voice at the other end of the phone sounded desperate, upset, and it broke my heart. 
At one point, this woman had been practically a mother to me, and to hear her now, begging for my help was almost too much.
"Ape, listen. I have already booked the flight." I paused, "We need to sort this out."
"Thankyou so so much Ville... I know there's so much... history, but- but he's in a really bad place right now"
I hear her voice break off into sobs.
I sigh, bid farewell and hang up.
A lump forms in my throat, two days from now and i will see him again for the first time since what feels like forever.
I feel sick.
Now all i have left to do it pack.

Bam's POV

July 5th

It's been 3 weeks since Skank first showed up. Its been fun in a twisted way to say the least. I'm so far into all this shit , I realise now nothing can save me... I guess he's just a helping hand down this spiral of self decay.


"You did WHAT?! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" I demanded at my sobbing mother at the other end of the phone.
"You-you need help hunnie... Please.."
"I DONT NEED HELP, I'M FINE!" I retorted angrily. "  
"NO MOM! STAY OUT OF MY GODDAMN LIFE! FOR ONCE!" and with that I hang up, pissed off beyond belief.
I charge down stairs, looking for alcohol, smack, anything to numb the burning anger.
It's then when Skank pushes open the front door, his tatty school uniform hanging off his frail form, a hunger appears in me as i stalk towards him.
"Bam?" He questions, curiosity ablaze in his eyes.
I don't reply, I just push my lips hard onto his own, forcing my tounge far down his throat. He gasps in supprise, but responds almost immediatly, wrapping his long pale arms tightly round my torso.
Roughly I pull at his shirt, tugging the buttons open with ease as I harshly bite at his soft bottom lip causing him to groan in pain. Quickly we find ourself on the couch, locked in a lustfull embrace, nails scratching on skin, teeth clashing voilently. One thing leads to another and soon he's under me, writhing in pleasure as I thrust hard into him, tears are rolling down his cheeks as he's begging me to stop, But We both know he wants this just as much as me. As he orgasms I pull away to finish myself off. By the time I sit up he's gathering his clothes off the floor.
He knows this routine well, and without even saying a word, heads into the kitchen to get the gear. And as soon as he does, suddenly everything feels like its gonna be ok..

Ville's POV

7th july

I can't believe I'm really doing this. I'm walking down Bam's driveway and I'm scared shitless.
It has to  be worth it though, just because I'm not with him anymore doesnt mean I'm gonna stand by and let him do this to himself...

I knock, and am greated by a young-ish guy with makeup platered on his face. He's so skinny that you can count his ribs through his dirty white shirt.
"Uh, hey?" He almost questions, and with that I realise I'm staring.
"Oh um, sorry... I'm Bam's..." I trail off. "I'm Here to see Bam? I'm Ville" I extend my hand, but he just simply stares down at it, until the gesture becomes akkward.
"He's inside, and being a bitch." He states sourly.
"Thanks.." I reply at his retreating form as he walks away, down the drive.
I take a deep breath and enter the house.

He's slouched in a chair infront of his dark oak table, I flinch as I notice all the previous heartagrams have been ripped out of various places on the walls.
He looks like a ghost of his former self... He's lost so much weight and his arms are covered in trackmarks and dark patches where his vains are begining to collapse. His face looks hollow, framed by his now lank and greasy hair. His eyes looks dead.

Shit. He's opened his eyes.

"Hi..." I simply say. God this is painfull
"Ville..." He replys. He sounds broken and it hurts. "what The FUCK ARE YOU HERE FOR!?"
"Ha! This is fucking ridiculose! you don't even know why the FUCK YOUR HERE FOR!"
'I'm here to help Bam..."
He's standing now, walking towards me, and I admit, pathetic as It is, i felt the urge to run.
I glanced behind me, but he inturrupted my thoughts.
"Don't you even fucking dare." He growls "Your not running from me. Not this time"
"Bam, I'm so sorry..." I whisper, "I never meant for you to end up like this."
"Oh! You don't like what you see, ville? Is it too much for you to handle, knowing its all your fault?!"
'Bam... Please, I want to help you."
"Then why did you leave me?" He osunds more like a child now, tears streaming down his face.
"Why the fuck did you leave me...?"  he falls to the ground and I get a terrible sense of De-ja-vu
"Bam..." I cruch down and pull his now tremling form into my arms.
"Im so sorry for all youv'e been through. I never thought It would end up this way... I thought you'd be ok... I-I was wrong..." At this he suddenly looks up in confusion, a glimmer in his baby blue eyes.
I remember that glimmer.
And before I can speak again his lips are on mine, gentle, soft... Loving. And for some unexplainable and stupid reason, I don't pull away, I simply sit there letting him kiss me.

After a moment he breaks the kiss and looks away.
"Please." He sounds so desperate and as his hand moves up to cup my cheeks I notice the faint scars across his wrist from so long ago... I never even bothered to ask about them...
"Don't say anything... just hold me..." He continues.
I pull him into my arms, and we sit there for what feels like hours, until I break the silence.
"Bam, You have to promise me that you'll stop all this. The drugs... Do it for Me please, we're all so worried about you..."
He mumbles something
"Sorry sweetheart?"
"Ok... If you promise you'll come back..."
"Ok... In a few days... I promise..."
He pulls me against him harder again, as If he never wants to let go...
"Missed you willa..."
"missed you too Bammie..."
I only wished It were true...

If either Ville and Bam had heard the gasp at the door, or seen the horrified teenage face, the moment would have been ruined, but coming disaster would have been prevented...


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