- January 29th, 2011
Flight 101 to Helsinki Finland now boarding
I hated hearing those words.
Thin arms pulled me close and as I breathed in the sweet air surrounding her, her soft voice whispered into my ear.
“I’ll miss you. Ring me when you land”
“I promise” I replied kissing those soft lips one last time, before her grip round me loosened, and we pulled apart. I could see the sadness in her eyes as I entered the terminal to board the flight. Who would think, huh? Me, Bam Margera, total jackass – almost in tears from having leaving his girlfriend for a month or two. Pathetic I know, I really need to man up.
I boarded the plane and started scanning the numbers on the isle
finally I found it, seat A96
I sat down, and gazed out the pulled window…Helsinki here I come…
Nine hours later and I was itching to get out of the frickin airport. I left my seat; bit out a thank you to the pretty, young airhostess nearest me and left the plane, the cold hitting me like a shovel over the head.
Once in the airport I quickly grabbed my luggage and headed straight to the departures lounge to find Jussi and get the hell outta there and back to his flat for some proper food and to chill.
He’s nowhere to be seen… Great
I kept scanning the heads of the crowd surrounding me, looking for the trademark black spiky hair I recognized as his, while people all around me babbled to each other in Finnish. Amidst the chaos, I heard a deep voice uncertainty calling my name
I turned and froze, captivated by the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.
I was shook out of my trance, by this stranger’s deep baritone voice.
“Uh, hey. Yes?” I replied blushing slightly
the man smiled, flicking his long curls sub consciously out of his face,
“Hei, My name’s Ville, I’m uh Jussi’s mate. He told me ta pick you up cause the lazy fucks overslept”
“Ah cool dude, uh Ville” I replied… well that solved this missing Jussi problem.
He smiled at me again and I felt myself smile back despite my irritated mood.
And as soon as we reached the waiting car, drove by one of his mates an Cradle of Filth started blaring out, I could tell that we were goin to get on well.
“Yo Bam, you want a beer?” Ville called from the kitchen
“Uh yeah sure dude, thanks”
My head turned as he entered the shabby looking living room handing me a cold bottle.
“Sorry bout the mess kulta” He stated pushing a pile of clothes of the couch to clear room to sit “Since moving back in I haven’t had the time to clear away my stuff.”
“It’s cool.” I picked up on a slightly unhappy tone in his voice, and frowning questioned, “Moving back in..?”
“Oh... yes, well I moved in with a girlfriend for a while,” He paused, “and well, things didn’t go according to plan.”
“Oh, I’m sorry man.”
“I’m not…” A grin appeared. “She was a bitch.”
“I just miss the company, ya know?”
A stab of guilt pierced my mind,
*Ah shit! I forgot to ring Missy!*
“Uh I just have to make a phone call, yeah?”
“Sure” he smiled, I’m just gunna grab another drink, you want one?”
I looked down at his empty bottle in surprise, I knew the Finnish could drink, but that was impressive!
“I’m Ok thanks.”
I watched him walk into the kitchen again, his swaying hips captivating me in a way I knew they shouldn’t.
I tore my eyes away and pulled out my phone.
“Bam! Oh I was so worried when you didn’t call!”
“Sorry hun” I sighed “I totally forgot”
“Its fine, as long as you’re ok”
“Is Jussi ok?” She asked
“Oh, uh...” I paused as Ville walked back into the room, and despite my reply, he was holding two opened bottles in his hands.
“He’s fine baby..Are you ok?”
“Good and I’m fine, missing you already though” I could hear her smile into the phone.
“Missing you to baby,” I replied suddenly feeling Ville’s gaze upon me.
“Talk to you later?”
“Of course” She replied.
“Love you too.”
As I hung up I looked back at Ville. Our eyes met and he looked away.
“Girlfriend?” He asked. Bitterness present in his voice.
“Must be nice...”
“Uh..Yeah, she is...” My voice faded out.
The silence burned.
“Anyway,” He started, a smile now on his face, “As it figures, Jussi’s somehow unable to leave Jyriki’s today,” His grin widened “I didn’t ask why…but I think we can guess”
My lips formed a smile.
“So, I decided that we are going to get good and drunk… then go out and party” he stated, then looking up at me, his green eyes boring into my own,
“You cool with that Bam?”
“Dude… of fuckin course!”
A few hours later and a hell of alota drink and we were a sight to behold, stumbling round clubs, falling over each other and hugging anyone who looked remotely like someone we knew, or used to know, or could possibly know…
Finally, the 4th bar of the night had the sense to call us a taxi, taking us directly back to Ville’s apartment, and a higher level of sanity or at least I thought…
Getting there was the first challenge…
“VILLE, NO, NO, NOOOOO!” I shouted, falling to my knees for some unknown and most likely pointless reason…
“What BAM!?” He shouted back, peering over me.
“We can’t take the elevator…”
“Why the HELL not!?”
“If it dies, no one will know who I am... I’m not a Finnish person like you… THEY WONT CARE!”
He looked down at me for a second, stifling obvious giggles,
“Bambam…you’re off your face!” He exclaimed, helping me up and nearly falling over himself, “Of course they won’t care!”
“Shuddup Willa… I think I need another drink..”
“I think that’s a great thing to think” He giggled, before raising an arm and belting “TO THE STAIRS!”
And as you can imagine, those stairs took a very long time to conquer...
Finally, we reached the door to his apartment, and, as expected, fell into his living room in a burst of drunken energy, laughing at nothing in particular and trying to sniff out the remaining alcohol. Our mission, needless to say was a success, yet as we fell quiet, bottles in hand, our awareness of each other became far more noticeable.
He turned to me slightly, and looked deep into my eyes,
I gulped, as I felt his hand on my leg… I lent forwards, in my drunken haze, eyes wondering down to his lips, a hand to his thigh…
What the hell? You hardly know the guy, plus think of Missy!
But these thoughts all but disappeared as he leant towards me, our faces so very close
“What..? I replied quietly, my voice notably slurring, and as if that one word had brought reality with it, he looked again at me with those dazzling green eyes and sighed, pulling back,
“Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled.
And for some strange reason an air of disappointment settled over me, I stood up, stumbling somewhat.
“Uh, don’t mention it Willa..”
“We should call it a night…?” He questioned
I looked over at him, he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
With that I left him and staggered to the spare room. I wasn’t sure why I felt disenchanted all of a sudden, yet as I filled my thoughts of missy, minutes later I was asleep and he was there in my dreams, green eyes piercing my conscious.
Meanwhile, Ville was still sitting there in the messy living room, his eyes filling with tears unbeknownst to me, sipping yet another beer…
Morning came all too soon, bringing with a nightmare headache, which felt like two lil gnomes drilling into my brain…fun.
I woke with a groan, and an urge to be sick, not helped AT ALL by the smell of breakfast billowing through the doorway...
Yes What the hell!? Were my thoughts exactly.
I stood up, the room spinning slightly and left the room and headed towards the kitchen…
“Breakfast?” Ville questioned, and based on the look I gave him he came to his own conclusion. “I’ll take that as no.”
“Good guess.” I groaned, “Got any meds?”
“Uh yeah, bedside table.” He replied, his eyes not leaving the, what can only be described as ‘concoction’ in the frying pan.
I journeyed back into the living room and towards the only room in the drab apartment that I hadn’t yet been into.
The walls were cream coloured and dirty. Just like the rest of the rooms, junk was scattered everywhere, clothes more than anything along with random books and bits of guitars. I ventured closer to the bedside cabinet and managed to actually get the pills, put the packet back down and turn back toward the door before my curiosity took hold. And well, I can’t really tell you why, but I suddenly had the urge to explore his room further. To look through his wardrobe and run my fingers down the seems of his undoubtedly gorgeous, gothic clothes. To look through the old worn books lying about the floor and read the weird alien poetry found in their pages.
I realised then, that he intrigued me. This beautiful, gothic stranger with his piercing green eyes. That thought worried me, scared me even. Yet it wasn't enough to deter my curiosity. I walked silently over to his cabinet again, and casually opened the drawer. I'm not sure what I expected, perhaps more books adding to the vast amount already scattering the floor or maybe even a diary- he seemed like the type. But for some reason, I didn't expect this.
Porn. Gay porn.
A hot flush crept over my face as I quickly shut the drawer. My desire to explode didn't disappear all together but it certainly became clouded by embarrassment...
I thought he mentioned a girlfriend..maybe that's why they split up..
"bam?" I heard him calling from the living room,
"uh yeah..?" I replied quickly, leaving his room, a slight flush still on my face. He was sitting on the couch, unbelievably a bear in hand; apparently last night had not taken its toll in him... Finnish people, huh? Lucky buggers, can drink alcohol like water (at least in most cases, Ville seemed to not only drink alcohol like it was water, but also seemingly INSTEAD of water)
He smiled at me, beamed intact. Before offering me a sip. When I declined he chuckled
"hey shuddup man."
After a moment of comfortable silence the phone rang.
“Hei?” Ville answered in Finnish
”Hei, I'l pian ohi, ok?” The muffled voice replied
”Varmista, nähdään jätkä” Ville then hung up.
I looked at him questioningly, trying not to to appear nosy
”Was Jussi, He’l be over soon.”
”Ahh, cool cool dude.”
And, spot on time, 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door.
”Get that will ya Bambam? ” Ville called from the bathroom, where the shower was clearly running.
I complied and went to answer the door.
”BAM!” the dark haired drummer shouted as he pulled me into a welcoming hug. ”How the fuck are you?!”
I laughed slightly at his enthusiasm.
”Im ok thanks dude, how the fuck are you?”
I invited him into the cramped living room. He looked round at the rather impressive mess,
”Bad time to say your gunna be have to stay there for a bit longer judging by the mess?” He joked mildly, his accent making his words harder to understand.
”Staying longer?” Ville’s voice called from the bathroom, wherer the running water had now stopped.
”Uh yeah kulta, if you dont mind that is..?”
”No, I dont mind at all.” He replied emerging for the shower, a towel wrapped round his waist showing off his ghostly pale chest. His wet hair falling over his face made him look no less than beautiful.
I felt my face turning pink at this point and looked away, yet I felt his eyes on me minutes after.
”Can I ask why Bam is now staying here rather than yours..?” Ville questioned, a cheeky grin on his face, ”Is Jyriki prehaps staying..?”
In any other situation, this question would appear quite innocent, but the tone of Ville’s voice changed that. Jussi turned slightly pink but grined none the less.
”Yeah...” He tailed off.. His eyes lingering on Ville, who suddenly didn’t meet his gaze.
”Drink?” He offered.
”Sure dude, not alcohol though.”
Ville rolled his eyes.
”Your meant to be cutting down too...” He added, looking midly concerned,
”whateverrrrr.” Ville replied from the kitchen, emerging with a glass of water for Jussi and two cans of cola, he opened one for himself and offered the other to me. As i took it he could clearly see the questions forming in my mind, but the warning look he gave me told me to keep my mouth shut.
Half and hour later, after boring Ville half to death with talk over the new video I was directing for the Eyes, Jussi left, agreeing to meet us later for a meal. Or drink. Or whatever. After he did, Ville – now dressed - turned to me,
”Uh Bambam... please don’t mention to the others about me drinking later, please..?” A slight pleading tone in his voice.
”Um.. ok dude” I paused. ”I know this is none of my business, and I normally wouldnt ask, but..”
”They just don’t like me drinking Bam,” He replied in a tone that suggested the conversation was at a close.
”They worry about me too much.. thats all...” His voice faded.
Silence. Then he smiled at me again. I was becoming far to used to getting taken aback by his strangly feminine beauty.
”Wanna watch a movie?”
”Yeah sure dude.”
He got up from the couch and went to his room, coming back with a dvd clutched in his hand.
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
”Ohhh, I could have guessed... goth boy.” I teased
He simple poked his lil pink tongue out at me before turing to the tv and starting the movie.
About an hour and a half later, neither of us wanted to move. Over the period of the movie Ville had become snuggled up to me somehow, and I despite trying to reason with myself, I didn’t seem to want to let him go.
”Well... that was better than I expected.” I admitted as the credits began to role. ”For a kids film.”
”...baby bat...” He mumbled into my chest turning away from the tv slightly pulling me closer.
”Shuddup” I retaliated, poking him in the ribs.
He squealed, wriggled and then simply started mumbling halfhearted threats.
”Ok, I’l stop Willa, you scare me!” I announced as started threatening to shave my head while I slept.
”GOOD!” he giggled. His arms relaxing round me, as i found myself pulling him to my chest.
We stayed still for a while, breathing deeply, and though I was tired previous to watching the movie, I now felt wide awake.
He moved slightly against me, tilting his head to look into my eyes. With those gorgous green eyes staring into what felt like my soul, I was helpless.
He lent foward, and suddenly I felt his lips brushing gently against mine.
Just then, My phone rang, breaking the silence.
I pulled away suddenly, as If I had just come to my senses. Pulling my phone out from my pants pocket. Then name flashing on the screen caused me to pull thuther away from him.
”Its Missy...” I told him
He got up from the couch without a word, and left into the kitchen.
Unfortunatly, I felt guilty as he walked away from me.
Not towards Missy... but towards him...and I knew that that wasn’t a good thing...
”You ok hun?” she asked, sounding concerned.
”Yeah I’m fine.. you?”....
10 minutes later and I hung up. My head was starting to hurt again.
I turned to see Ville standing behind me, I was supprised that I hadn’t felt him staring at me... I had no idea how long he’d been there. When I was lying to her about staying at Jussi’s? Or about how I went bed early yesterday, and therefore didn’t ring her back..? Pointless lies I know... but for some ridiculose reason I had told her them.
But whether he had heard these things, he didn’t mention them. Nor did he mention the near kiss. He simply smiled again, and took a swig of the beer in his had (I was now noticing this as a permanent feature)
“You ready to go out?” He asked
I Looked up at the clock, half 4.
“Woah, that movie was longer than I thought, goth boy.”
He raised an eyebrow,
“OR maybe you just got up really dam late kulta, huh?”
“Shuddup” I replied getting up, “I’ll be ready in 10, ok?”
He nodded and I left to the spare room to go get ready.
"bammie boy!" Jyriki's loud voice greeted my ears.
We walked over to th crowded table in the corner of the bar surrounded by a number of people, few of which I knew.
Ville hugged the guy nearest to us, with impressive blonde dreads, mumbling in Finnish. He then turned to introduce Me.
"you bambam this is lindie, my best friend and an guitarist."
"Heya dude I'm bam" I then turned to ville, "your in a band?" I questioned
"oh yeah, HIM"
"you guys any good?"
"we're better than these fuckers!" LInde shouted, a playful grin engulfing his lips. This comment recived an uproar from jussi and Jyriki.
"battle of the bands, huh darling?" ville whispered to Me, I shuddered as his lips brushed against the shell of my ear "drink?" he questioned, still close enough to make me tremble. I turned to him, and found myself inches away from his face. Out of the corner of my eye I could see jussi watching us intently despite the noise surrounding him. Ville seemed to notice this and pulled away, turning.
"are you drinking" I questioned
He looked at Me smiling slightly, "yes. I think they can handle Me having one pint" referring to the guys still squabbling like children behind me.
"in that case, uh yeah Il have a pint"
"cool." his eyes lingered on mine before he turned, piercing through me.
I watched him walk away to the bar, swaying his hips, before sitting at the already overcrowded table.
My eyes caught Jussi's briefly and an awkward smile crept over his face before he looked over at Ville. I knew what he was thinking..
TO BE CONTINUED =)